Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
