dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
