You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
