Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
