okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
