Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
