so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
My cat gives me a boner
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
