we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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