is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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