There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I FOUND THE LEGS
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
