hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
