So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
