I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Two words: nipple clamps
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