i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
