I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
