Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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