One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
