Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
