Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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