Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
