i permit you to call me
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
