smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
