just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
