He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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