Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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