So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
