she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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