Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
