i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize