its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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