Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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