So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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