why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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