maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
