Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
