ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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