Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
