Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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