my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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