Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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