sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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