He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
