Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My butt remains clenched, sir.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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