My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
