I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
