I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
