apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
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