Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
