I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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