I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
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