worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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