I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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