She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
